Good Kid Gone Bad, or Never Good To Go Bad?
-Dan Callahan, MSW
I was born in 1960 into a blue-collar lower income family on Long Island twenty-five miles from New York City. My family had a strong sense of giving to the community. My dad is a volunteer fireman and has been for over fifty years.
Somehow I always seemed to find the trouble. My mom always said I was a good kid, but my dad well that was another story. He would say “good kid? He was never good to go bad!” I guess that was the struggle that I had to fight alone. At the age of 16 I was arrested for shoplifting. This began a string of criminal activity that became the beginning of the end.
In January 1978 a few months prior to my 18th birthday I was arrested for assault. The Vietnam War was fresh in every ones memory and recruitment into the Armed Forces was low. So as a bargaining chip in court I offered to join the Army. Maybe I could restore my status as a good kid!
In reality wherever you go, well there you are. It did not take long when my drinking and drugging picked up where I had left off. In fact I lasted a full 19 months and a couple more arrests before it was suggested I pack it in and head back home. I was unfit for Military service they said!
That was February 1980 by March 1980; armed robbery had become my source of income. I would head out after the dinner rush hour and stick-up fast food establishments. During my second heist, I was apprehended. The idea that I needed to get help with my alcohol and drug challenges began to emerge. In all honesty, something inside of me believed I was good. I wanted help however I was primarily motivated to stay out of jail.
I was arraigned on robbery 2 a class B felony. At the time it carried an 8-1/3 to 25 years prison term. Due to the fact that a handgun was involved the shortest sentence I could receive was a one-year sentence. After all was said and done a plea bargain agreement would have me sentenced to one year in County jail or a State sentence of 1 to 3 years in State prison. The sentence would be determined based upon my pre-sentence probation report.
The chips were down and now it was time to show whether I was a good kid or a bad kid. I was instructed to stay away from the fellows I had been arrested with and I was prohibited from drinking alcohol or using any illegal substances. So as any reasonably minded young man would do, I attended the probation hearing with my friend that had been arrested with me. We each drank an 8-pack of Budweiser minis and held up a seafood establishment with a shotgun on the way to the appointment.
A week before my sentencing hearing I was arrested again for several armed robberies. I figured my dad was right, never good to go bad! Now I sat in jail facing 175 years in prison. To anyone else in these circumstances fear may be an appropriate feeling yet for me it was relief. I was stopped, jail would do for me what I could not do myself.
Fortunately, after all was said and done I received a 7 year and 9 year sentence that would run concurrently. If all went well I could be released in 3 years. I mustered up the courage to embrace the good kid. I started by getting my GED, I began to attend church, I attended the self-help 12-step groups, I received counseling, vocational courses and anything that would help me to become what I knew I was.
Then I was afforded the opportunity to attend evening college courses in the prison. I honestly did not believe that I was smart enough. However, a friend encouraged me to try. Try I did. I started getting “A’s” and enjoying the experience. When it was time for my parole hearing I was released on parole due to my efforts.
In reality it took me 8 years to truly accept that I could no longer drink alcohol like others could. But I did eventually surrender to that fact and began a journey that has lead to a Masters Degree from Fordham University.
My Journey has led me to build an extensive human service background. I have been significantly involved in recovery based human service, alcoholism and substance abuse services, forensic services, case management with individuals recovering from mental health issues and recovery based program development. I played a significant role in the growth and development of Hands Across Long Island, Inc. the largest and most prominent consumer run mental health agency in the United States. I was contracted to co-author a NYS training manual and program for mental health and correctional service professionals working with parolees with “serious and persistent mental illness”.
